hello, I have struggles.

Before I go too much further on this blogging journey I figured it was a good idea to be perfectly clear about the kind of person I think I am right now. In my last post I wrote about how the only way to change was to start. I fully believe that. However, I myself am guilty more than anyone of not being able to follow through. I think maybe that's why it was such an important thing to write about. I wanted everyone who reads it to realize that I'm not wanting to be that person anymore. I'm twenty-seven years old now. that means I graduated from high school nine years ago. That's nine years of working and procrastinating and making poor choices and hurting myself and other people. That's nine years of planning to do better and somehow not being able to. Nine years of jobs that didn't really advance my "career". Nine years of failed relationships and friendships. I know that a majority of that is my fault for not being willing to grow up and face facts and change. I am no longer willing to live with the status quo. I know I will still make many mistakes and choices that I wish I didn't make. I will not instantly become this perfect citizen of the world, someone adept at handling any situation that flies my way. However, I believe that anyone who truly wants to change and makes steps to change deserves to expect a different result. I will make these changes because I can no longer just go along with the way things are. I know that I have so much to offer this life. I am intelligent, and funny, and I don't let things hold me down for too long. I am made for a reason and I'm no longer someone who wants to float through life hoping for the best. Yeah, sometimes I will still be that girl who ruins something by being nervous. Or who says the wrong thing in a situation. Even sometimes, I will still hurt myself and others. But I love myself. Right now, and for who I know I can become. I am not willing to give up on myself yet. I hope those of you reading this will stick by me while i grow.

for now,

Mari 

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