Wallflower Journey

Here's what modern dating is like to me. So you join this site that has an app that lets you know that someone looked at a picture of your body and thought it was decent enough, and they read the half-truths on your profile and thought "I could put up with that, probably..." Doesn't that sound great? All the while knowing that it will probably last one to two dates before one of you lets your crazy show and you have to start the whole vicious cycle over again. It's no wonder most people are just content with the choice to date within their immediate friend pool or a coworker, or just to stay single and hope somehow their soulmate stumbles past them one day on the street. Not that these aren't all valid options, but these days I feel like so much of a person's true character is hidden behind a facade of "fun-loving, happy go-lucky guy" or "down to earth, totally willing to roll with the punches girl". Why do we downplay our strengths an

Before I go too much further on this blogging journey I figured it was a good idea to be perfectly clear about the kind of person I think I am right now. In my last post I wrote about how the only way to change was to start. I fully believe that. However, I myself am guilty more than anyone of not being able to follow through. I think maybe that's why it was such an important thing to write about. I wanted everyone who reads it to realize that I'm not wanting to be that person anymore. I'm twenty-seven years old now. that means I graduated from high school nine years ago. That's nine years of working and procrastinating and making poor choices and hurting myself and other people. That's nine years of planning to do better and somehow not being able to. Nine years of jobs that didn't really advance my "career". Nine years of failed relationships and friendships. I know that a majority of that is my fault for not being willing to grow up and face facts

A lot has happened in my life recently to get me thinking. Sometimes life changes can be a catalyst in forward motion. The thing about a catalyst is that it only gets you in motion, it doesn't guarantee anything. People say that they want to change something about themselves or their situation every day. The hard part is action. Someone recently brought to my attention that saying you want to change and actually wanting to change are two different things altogether. I've seen it time and time again in the relationships with my friends and loved ones.  The problem is sometimes people think they don't have what it takes to enact any sort of change in their life. They think that they have a desire to be different, to be better, but stay in the same patterns and routines. While I know there can be emotional or mental complications, it seems that the only way to change is to start changing. Small steps must be made every day to trigger a change of mind, of pace, of environment.