an ode to lackluster efforts
Here's what modern dating is like to me. So you join this site that has an app that lets you know that someone looked at a picture of your body and thought it was decent enough, and they read the half-truths on your profile and thought "I could put up with that, probably..." Doesn't that sound great? All the while knowing that it will probably last one to two dates before one of you lets your crazy show and you have to start the whole vicious cycle over again. It's no wonder most people are just content with the choice to date within their immediate friend pool or a coworker, or just to stay single and hope somehow their soulmate stumbles past them one day on the street. Not that these aren't all valid options, but these days I feel like so much of a person's true character is hidden behind a facade of "fun-loving, happy go-lucky guy" or "down to earth, totally willing to roll with the punches girl". Why do we downplay our strengths and pretend to be less-than just to attract someone that we deem will leave eventually?
The worst thing is that when you recognize a kindred spirit in someone else, it's considered crazy to want to spend more time with them immediately. "Wait three days to text or else you will seem needy". You want them to think you like them but not too much. No reason to stop dating twelve different people at once, you're just exploring your options. Never mind the one that could be worth holding onto will get tired of your games and float away before you know it. There may not be a Mr. Right anymore but there's nothing wrong with Mr. Can Be Settled For. He may not laugh at your jokes or think your eyes sparkle just for him but he does pay for your dinner and tell you that you're attractive. Maybe you're only dating him because he has HBO and you can't stand not to see the new episode of Game of Thrones. Never mind that you catch him looking at other girls or texting them while you're with him. No one cares about true commitment anymore, right?
I don't have any idea what all the answers are. I just know that a few things might help out in stopping this vicious cycle. Honesty is probably the most important, If you don't like someone that much then just tell them. No need to drag out the what-if. Communication is key. Tell the person you like how you feel. Don't be scared of rejection so much that you reject yourself. Don't think you need a pool of 27 bachelors to choose from a la ABC reality television. Have fun, date. Give each person a fair chance to make an impression before moving on to door #4. Get off your app and look around at the people around you. You never know how close you could be to something awesome. Even if it is just a friend relationship. PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN for one freaking hour and talk to the people around you. Snapchat may make you laugh but it will never be your friend or lover. All of this social networking has caused a severe breakdown in actual communication. (I'm just as guilty as anyone of letting this stand between me and a human connection.)
So where does that leave us?
This generation needs to take action before love is an antiquated term and everyone just dates their phones. Give love a chance before it's too late to have one.
rant over.
Mari
The worst thing is that when you recognize a kindred spirit in someone else, it's considered crazy to want to spend more time with them immediately. "Wait three days to text or else you will seem needy". You want them to think you like them but not too much. No reason to stop dating twelve different people at once, you're just exploring your options. Never mind the one that could be worth holding onto will get tired of your games and float away before you know it. There may not be a Mr. Right anymore but there's nothing wrong with Mr. Can Be Settled For. He may not laugh at your jokes or think your eyes sparkle just for him but he does pay for your dinner and tell you that you're attractive. Maybe you're only dating him because he has HBO and you can't stand not to see the new episode of Game of Thrones. Never mind that you catch him looking at other girls or texting them while you're with him. No one cares about true commitment anymore, right?
I don't have any idea what all the answers are. I just know that a few things might help out in stopping this vicious cycle. Honesty is probably the most important, If you don't like someone that much then just tell them. No need to drag out the what-if. Communication is key. Tell the person you like how you feel. Don't be scared of rejection so much that you reject yourself. Don't think you need a pool of 27 bachelors to choose from a la ABC reality television. Have fun, date. Give each person a fair chance to make an impression before moving on to door #4. Get off your app and look around at the people around you. You never know how close you could be to something awesome. Even if it is just a friend relationship. PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN for one freaking hour and talk to the people around you. Snapchat may make you laugh but it will never be your friend or lover. All of this social networking has caused a severe breakdown in actual communication. (I'm just as guilty as anyone of letting this stand between me and a human connection.)
So where does that leave us?
This generation needs to take action before love is an antiquated term and everyone just dates their phones. Give love a chance before it's too late to have one.
rant over.
Mari
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