Worthy
Tonight, while I should have been sleeping, I watched a movie called Beautiful Boy. It chronicles a father and son's journey through the son's meth addiction, recovery, relapse. At the end of the movie, the son is alive by some miracle and it turns out the movie is based on a true story. The real Nic is sober 8 years, taking it day by day. I found myself crying at the end of the film, not because i can relate to that particular addiction,or even out of empathy, but because I realized that I'm an addict, too. I'm addicted to unworthiness. I'm lucky in a lot of ways. I hope that if anyone reads this they won't think I'm equating the severity of drug addiction to my current circumstance. That is to say, I understand how serious that drug addiction is. I guess for me, I see unworthiness as a different sort of serious issue. It can seep through into the soul. I don't know how this all started. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel this